Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Things you take for granted~
There are things in our life that we do everyday, little mundane things. Until you loose the ability to do these things you never fully grasps how amazing they actually were.
Some of the things I took for granted:
Walking, sounds corny but it is amazing how much talent it actually takes.
Running, I only started running last year and really started to appreciate it. I see runners now and it makes me sad sometimes I cry.
Getting dressed. Who knew buttons, zippers, bras were so difficult. Thank God for my husband or I would be going commando in track suits everyday.
Showering, fixing your hair, brushing your teeth, writing, typing. All things I never thought twice about, now I wish I would have appreciated them more.
One thing that still frustrates me is opening doors, jars, packages. My mind is willing my fingers to just turn the bloody lid and my fingers are acting like selfish little two year olds saying " I don't want too!" Man they are so naughty at times. I think a lot of the breakdowns I have had in front of Mike are always about a jar. Who would have thought.
I am staying mostly positive but I do get sad sometimes and when I get sad it is usually because of these things. When did car doors get so heavy? Everyday it seems I am faced with a new obstacle, some days I say to God "Enough already!" other days I say "Is that all you got!" I have had a bit of a "Why me" past couple of days. I know this will pass.
I'll be OK (:
Some of the things I took for granted:
Walking, sounds corny but it is amazing how much talent it actually takes.
Running, I only started running last year and really started to appreciate it. I see runners now and it makes me sad sometimes I cry.
Getting dressed. Who knew buttons, zippers, bras were so difficult. Thank God for my husband or I would be going commando in track suits everyday.
Showering, fixing your hair, brushing your teeth, writing, typing. All things I never thought twice about, now I wish I would have appreciated them more.
One thing that still frustrates me is opening doors, jars, packages. My mind is willing my fingers to just turn the bloody lid and my fingers are acting like selfish little two year olds saying " I don't want too!" Man they are so naughty at times. I think a lot of the breakdowns I have had in front of Mike are always about a jar. Who would have thought.
I am staying mostly positive but I do get sad sometimes and when I get sad it is usually because of these things. When did car doors get so heavy? Everyday it seems I am faced with a new obstacle, some days I say to God "Enough already!" other days I say "Is that all you got!" I have had a bit of a "Why me" past couple of days. I know this will pass.
I'll be OK (:
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Cause for Celebration~
I have alot to blog about but haven't found the time. I will definitely get onto it this weekend. Until then I will leave you with an email my mom sent me, she gets daily inspirational emails and I really enjoyed this one.
Honoring Everyday Life~
We all know someone who keeps plastic covers on his or her couch in order to protect it. The irony is that many of these people may live their lives without ever having actually made contact with their own furniture! This is a poignant and somewhat humorous example of the human tendency to try to save things for special occasions, as if everyday life wasn’t special enough to warrant the use of nice things. Many of us have had the experience of never wearing a particular piece of clothing in order to keep it nice, only to have it go out of style in the meanwhile.
It’s interesting to think of what it would mean to us if we let ourselves wear our nicest clothes and eat off the good china on a daily basis. We might be sending ourselves the message that every day we are alive is a special day and a cause for celebration, and that we are worth it. There is something uplifting about treating ourselves to the finest of what we have. It is as if we rise to the occasion when we wear our best clothes and set the table beautifully, as if for a very special guest. We are more mindful of where we place things, what we are eating, and who is with us. Using the good china, eating in the dining room, and taking the plastic off the sofa might be an invitation to be more conscious of the beauty and grace inherent in our everyday lives.
If there are things you’ve stashed away for a special occasion—a bottle of special wine, a gorgeous pair of shoes, an antique lace tablecloth—consider taking them out of their hiding places and putting them to use tonight, just because you are alive now to enjoy them, and that’s a great cause for a celebration.
Honoring Everyday Life~
We all know someone who keeps plastic covers on his or her couch in order to protect it. The irony is that many of these people may live their lives without ever having actually made contact with their own furniture! This is a poignant and somewhat humorous example of the human tendency to try to save things for special occasions, as if everyday life wasn’t special enough to warrant the use of nice things. Many of us have had the experience of never wearing a particular piece of clothing in order to keep it nice, only to have it go out of style in the meanwhile.
It’s interesting to think of what it would mean to us if we let ourselves wear our nicest clothes and eat off the good china on a daily basis. We might be sending ourselves the message that every day we are alive is a special day and a cause for celebration, and that we are worth it. There is something uplifting about treating ourselves to the finest of what we have. It is as if we rise to the occasion when we wear our best clothes and set the table beautifully, as if for a very special guest. We are more mindful of where we place things, what we are eating, and who is with us. Using the good china, eating in the dining room, and taking the plastic off the sofa might be an invitation to be more conscious of the beauty and grace inherent in our everyday lives.
If there are things you’ve stashed away for a special occasion—a bottle of special wine, a gorgeous pair of shoes, an antique lace tablecloth—consider taking them out of their hiding places and putting them to use tonight, just because you are alive now to enjoy them, and that’s a great cause for a celebration.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Swimming~
I have been so busy in the past week I haven't had time to get on here. I have started swimming again, my mother is so proud. For those of you that don't know I was a competitive swimmer for 11 years, it was such a huge part of my life and my identity for so long. I stopped swimming my junior year of college and have never really got back into it until this week.
I have to say my first day back in the pool was a bit depressing. I didn't know what to expect ability wise, so I aimed to do 1000 meters. When I started to swim I found I was focusing all my attention on my right arm (gympie) how she couldn't quite get all the way out of the water, she couldn't pull. I, to say the least, was getting very frustrated and feeling a bit down, it was one of the first times it really hit me that this is all happening. I was so used to swimming coming easy that it was a real shock to the system. Then I pulled my head out (as my husband would say) and said to myself "Why are you only focusing on what is not working? What about the things that are!" After that I thought wow, my left arm is still doing great, my kick is strong, and my breathing is the same as it always was. It's amazing how strong the mind is and how it can dictate our feelings. I am really working on the PMA (positive mental attitude) I am certain it will see us through this.
I went two more times this week, each time with my friend Richard who is hilarious and almost drowns me because I am laughing so hard and lose all control of my body. It was great to have someone there. I feel that I look ridiculous in the water, Richard assured me I looked normal so that was a relief.
I will definitely keep swimming, I am sure I will keep getting stronger. Thanks for all the love and support!
I have to say my first day back in the pool was a bit depressing. I didn't know what to expect ability wise, so I aimed to do 1000 meters. When I started to swim I found I was focusing all my attention on my right arm (gympie) how she couldn't quite get all the way out of the water, she couldn't pull. I, to say the least, was getting very frustrated and feeling a bit down, it was one of the first times it really hit me that this is all happening. I was so used to swimming coming easy that it was a real shock to the system. Then I pulled my head out (as my husband would say) and said to myself "Why are you only focusing on what is not working? What about the things that are!" After that I thought wow, my left arm is still doing great, my kick is strong, and my breathing is the same as it always was. It's amazing how strong the mind is and how it can dictate our feelings. I am really working on the PMA (positive mental attitude) I am certain it will see us through this.
I went two more times this week, each time with my friend Richard who is hilarious and almost drowns me because I am laughing so hard and lose all control of my body. It was great to have someone there. I feel that I look ridiculous in the water, Richard assured me I looked normal so that was a relief.
I will definitely keep swimming, I am sure I will keep getting stronger. Thanks for all the love and support!
Friday, October 2, 2009
The one, the only, Eula May~
My wonderful, beautiful, adventurous, inspirational, loving grandmother passed away yesterday after a very long and determined fight. She will be forever in our hearts.
I stumbled upon this today and thought it was fitting:
Love you forever and always~
I stumbled upon this today and thought it was fitting:“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
Love you forever and always~
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Update
We have been waiting nearly a month to get in with the MND specialist down in Sydney. On Friday we received a call from his office saying a miracle has happened and they had a cancellation for Monday at 12:30 can we make it, so of course we said yes. It was a bit pricey for flights so we decided to road trip. It took us about 13 hours but we made it!!! We were very fortunate to have our friends Steve and Jo down there who gave us a fantastic place to stay (thanks guys).
Dr. Mathew (the specialist) was great and when we met him we didn't know what to expect. A part of us hoped he would say I had been misdiagnosed and a part of us knew it wasn't so. So when Mathew said, "Yes you do have MND" Mike and I were not that shocked. Mathew was able to answer some of our questions.
Mathew looked at my MRI of my brain and you can see the bloody disease clear as day. He also did some reflex tests. I accept his diagnoses what I don't accept is a 5 year life expectancy. He said that he thinks I only have 5 years left I said I can beat that so he up it to 10 max and I said I have God on my side so even if I live 10 years and 1 day I will live longer than they expect, no question about it. Mike said well what about these stories of people living 14, 20 plus years with MND. He said I don't believe they have it and they may have been misdiagnosed.
I will not be seeing him again, there is nothing more he can do for us except answer questions when they arise. He said that I need a diet high in protein and that being a vegetarian would be a bad idea, thank God!!
I am not afraid, God will get us through this. I still have hope, faith, belief. I am in no way angry at God, I know he is not the one who has given me this. As I say to Mike in 5 years I may have limited function but you mark my words I will not be in a wheelchair nor will I be dead!!!
I still laugh, I still have lots of joy. I am in no way a mopey butt. I plan on squeezing every ounce of life out of the next 5 years that I can muster. I am looking at this as a blessing, hard to believe, I think God has given me a gift, he/she is saying "Stacy I am telling you when I want you to come home, now go and do and say all that you need." I have seen 7 year olds die of CF, 15 year olds die of cancer, 2 year olds die of illnesses they can't explain. I feel very lucky to have made it this far, I am also lucky it is not something that will take me in 9 months, like a brain tumor, I at least have time. And time is a wonderful thing.
I think I a staying positive because yes I have a terminal illness however I feel that if God sees fit he will grant me a miracle. Also who knows we may all die in 5 years time, but unlike everyone else we have been livin it up!
So thank you to everyone for your support and keep the prayers coming!
Dr. Mathew (the specialist) was great and when we met him we didn't know what to expect. A part of us hoped he would say I had been misdiagnosed and a part of us knew it wasn't so. So when Mathew said, "Yes you do have MND" Mike and I were not that shocked. Mathew was able to answer some of our questions.
Mathew looked at my MRI of my brain and you can see the bloody disease clear as day. He also did some reflex tests. I accept his diagnoses what I don't accept is a 5 year life expectancy. He said that he thinks I only have 5 years left I said I can beat that so he up it to 10 max and I said I have God on my side so even if I live 10 years and 1 day I will live longer than they expect, no question about it. Mike said well what about these stories of people living 14, 20 plus years with MND. He said I don't believe they have it and they may have been misdiagnosed.
I will not be seeing him again, there is nothing more he can do for us except answer questions when they arise. He said that I need a diet high in protein and that being a vegetarian would be a bad idea, thank God!!
I am not afraid, God will get us through this. I still have hope, faith, belief. I am in no way angry at God, I know he is not the one who has given me this. As I say to Mike in 5 years I may have limited function but you mark my words I will not be in a wheelchair nor will I be dead!!!
I still laugh, I still have lots of joy. I am in no way a mopey butt. I plan on squeezing every ounce of life out of the next 5 years that I can muster. I am looking at this as a blessing, hard to believe, I think God has given me a gift, he/she is saying "Stacy I am telling you when I want you to come home, now go and do and say all that you need." I have seen 7 year olds die of CF, 15 year olds die of cancer, 2 year olds die of illnesses they can't explain. I feel very lucky to have made it this far, I am also lucky it is not something that will take me in 9 months, like a brain tumor, I at least have time. And time is a wonderful thing.
I think I a staying positive because yes I have a terminal illness however I feel that if God sees fit he will grant me a miracle. Also who knows we may all die in 5 years time, but unlike everyone else we have been livin it up!
So thank you to everyone for your support and keep the prayers coming!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The other man in my life~
27 years ago I met a great man, it took me 5 or so years to really get to know him and I liked him so much I kept him around for the next 22! He is funny, supportive, reliable, and very very hugable!! I of course am talking about my Papa Bear who's Birthday is today.
One thing about living in Australia is that I have missed 5 years of birthdays. I wish him the happiest of days (I'm pretty sure he is off hunting at the moment, so he's in heaven) Just wanted to let him know I love him very much and I am sure my mom is spoiling him rotten.
I feel very lucky that my dad is still here with us, a few years back he was diagnosed with colon and rectum cancer. We almost lost him and Mike and I were there with my parents during that time. My dad handled that phase of his life with dignity and above everything else humour. His condition has impacted his life greatly and yet he still gets up, he still gets out there and he still lives his life! I admire him for that and have learned alot from him.
At our wedding I wanted to choose a song for the father/daughter dance that represented how I felt about him. I wrote this in his card last year so thought it fitting to add it here today. Love you more today then yesterday Daddy!
"My Wish"
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,And each road leads you where you want to go,And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.And if one door opens to another door closed,I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,But more than anything, more than anything,My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,You never need to carry more than you can hold,And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish.I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,All the ones who love you, in the place you left,I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,And you help somebody every chance you get,Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,And you always give more than you take.But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,You never need to carry more than you can hold,And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish.My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,You never need to carry more than you can hold,And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish.
Happy Birthday Papa Bear!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)