Now

Wednesday 22nd of January

Canberra was beautiful tonight. I drove home after a dinner with the Neild Browns on the south side of town. The sun was setting and the light was delicate. Hills and trees, light and shadow. A brilliant orange sun and the fresh crisp air of a summer evening here in the capital. 

I thought of Stacy on the drive home. I have been thinking about her most days when I have been writing. It is different though, when i’m writing i’m remembering and attempting to record. Driving in the light tonight I thought about her, about her in the context of me. I’m didn’t feel sad tonight that Stacy wasn’t with me, I didn’t feel sad for me. I did feel the pain of her not being able to experience the beauty of an evening drive, a sunset, a summer night. 

She would have loved a night like tonight like she loved so much of life. I wonder what her experience is like right now. Does she experience? If so then I think it must be beautiful. 

I will be well in my life without Stacy. She was so good for me, her journey was a spectacular one and I was privileged to be there for much of it. She marked me clearly, and i’m changed for the better through that experience. 

It was a brilliant ride home, grace filled and beauty touched.