Trust

Church billboards, you’ve gotta love them. Mike and I pass a few different ones on a daily basis. I always look to see if God has left me a message. Sometimes they are ridiculous, but every once in awhile one really talks to me, which is what happened this week. As we passed I read a sign which read “You can’t trust and worry at the same time.” Yes you can I thought, but on further reflection I came to the conclusion that the sign was right, again.


All this time I’ve been worrying about MND, my symptoms, my life changes, the future, my timeline, ect. At the same time I’ve been saying, “Maybe I’ll get a miracle, maybe God will make me better?” I think I just say it but don’t fully trust that it could happen? This silly sign opened up my eyes.

I asked Mike how I am meant to “trust” that I will get better and not “worry” about my ever increasing symptoms. My very wise husband said “You’re not meant to trust you will get better, but trust that each day you are given you will make the most of. Trust that although this is hard you are here now and you can affect people’s lives in a positive way and trust that no matter what happens we can make it through.”

It took me awhile to let that sink in but I think he’s right. No one knows their timeline, some of us have been told ours but as my friend Tawn says, “No one has a crystal ball.” I guess all we can do is trust that today is another day we have been blessed with and try our hardest not to waste our time worrying about things we have no control over.

Like that speech song says, “Worrying is like trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.”

Thanks for the sign~

Thought for the day~

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,

It's about dancing in the rain."(Unknown Author)

I'm back~

Have you mssed me?  What a year!  I was looking back on my posts from a year ago and finding it ironic that I was excited about the adventures ahead.  Little did I know what type of adventure I would be embarking on.  This year Mike and I were given all kinds of challenges, and I can honestly say I think we faced most of them head on. 

I am a different person now than I was last year, I see the world and our time on it in a whole new light. I've learned that nothing in this life is guaranteed, something I used to take for granted.  I've learned that the love I have in my life is abundant, unconditional and beyond measure and that I get it from every direction I turn. I'm learning that who you are is not dictated by what you can do rather by how you treat others and the way in which you choose to live your life.

Although 2010 has started out on the back of the hardest year of my life, I have hope that it can only get better from here.  My symptoms have progressed into my legs which makes it hard to get around and surprisingly easy to fall.  Lately I have been telling myself this is only temporary and that helps.  I still have faith that I may be granted a miracle.  Like I said to Mike my odds of getting MND were the same as getting a miracle.  If I have learned anything it is that anything is possible.

I have a good feeling about this year.  I have a lot to be thankful for and this is what I will choose to focus on.  Let's see where this crazy road takes us.

Mike's ski trip to Showdown

I think it is the top quality US television programming that is keeping Stacy away from the Blog at the moment.

What not to wear, Hoarders and Say yes to the Dress make such compelling watching that I'm firing up the majority of the blog posts currently.

That, and the fact that I went skiing with the video camera this week. I say I went skiing with the camera, what I mean is that I brought the camera to the car park of the mountain. After 6 years out of the skiing game I was pretty concerned that I would damage the new video camera if I took it up the mountain.





As it turns out it would have been sweet to bring the camera up as I only had a couple of stacks. I unclipped a ski only twice on the day, and one of those was because I hit a tree branch that was concealed below the powder when I was being trick and skiing off track through the trees.



It was a rocking day and I am very thankful to my mate Brad Gillchrist for getting my up there and into the action.

Snow skiing is the best recreational activity that I have ever been involved in. It was a top day.


In general news Stacy and I are doing well. After a couple of warmer days (25 - 38 degrees) it has dropped off again and has been snowing all day today.

The visitors from New York (Liz and Shannon) and Seattle (Kelly) have headed back home. It was a lot of fun to spend some time with them. It is really great to see Stacy laughing and carrying on with these special friends.

This week we are spending a lot of time with Stacy's family, Debi, Dave and Steph. As well as visits with Tawnya, Brad and baby Audrey.

We are heading home in a few days now. It will be very sad and also quite nice.

We hope all is well with you all. I'm sure Stacy will fire up some more posting soon - until then its just me and my dodgy Montana commentary.

Cheers

Mike

Out at the Ranch

G'day folks, Mike here again.

Things are going well up here in Montana. Christmas is in the bag, Stacy enjoyed the familiarity of it and I enjoyed the exotic experience of a Christmas in the cold with snow on the ground.

Over the weekend we ventured out of town for 3 days to a cabin out in the wilderness. Stacy's college roommates - Liz, Kelly and Shannon made up the group of 5 who enjoyed the remoteness of Liz's mother Connie's ranch.

Check out the clips for a sense of the experience.






Lots of love from Stacy and I, we hope everyone is having a great holiday season.

Mike

The Northern Adventure

G'day folks

Mike here on the blog.

Stacy and I are in Montana and doing well. Stacy is going to get on and write more soon. I'm just here with a brief update and a little video footage as well.






We are having a very good time over here. Lots of action in the 'visiting with family and friends' department.

We hope everyone is well.

Lots of love

Mike and Stacy

Who we are~

I have been thinking lately that so much of who we are and how we define ourselves is based on our physical ability.  For example growing up I was defined as an athlete I did ever sport, swimming, softball, volleyball, basketball, track.  I swam competitively for 11 years, this is who I was, I was an athlete.  In college I worked at a gym I was a trainer, aerobics and spin instructor I was active to say the least. Throughout my entire adult life I have been focused on fitness and health, some of my friends would venture to say I was "obsessed" with it.  I grew up this way.  My mother, as long as I can remember, has been a fitness freak, aerobics instructor, personal trainer, body builder, Pilate's instructor and so on.  It's in my blood, it's who I was, it's how I defined myself.  I was proud of it.

Most of my adventures around the world have been defined by physical ability.  I backpacked and hitch hiked my way through New Zealand carrying a bag that was way to heavy, I built houses in Africa with my hands, I cycled my way through Thailand and Cambodia, I have swam in numerous oceans, climbed countless mountains, looked for adventure everywhere I went.  I snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef, went white water rafting and jumped out of a plane at 14,000 feet all in my 25th year.  This is who I am, this is how I define myself.

I have always been fiercely independent and prided myself on the strength of my body the things it could do.  I was always the strongest, the one who could open that horribly tight lid, the one who could lift just about anything.  I loved having a firm hand shake. This was me these were my abilities.

I am struggling with who I am becoming and letting go of who I was for so many years.  I hate needing help, I hate being reminded everyday of the things I can no longer do by the lack of my ability.  I hate that I can't read my favorite magazine "Shape" because it reminds me of all the things I can't do.  I hate that when I watch a movie all I can think is how is that woman able to walk in those heels, get that outfit on, carry that baby?  It is hard for me to fathom I have run my last race, or lifted my last weight.  Will I ever be able to write properly again or cut my own nails, will I ever do another jumping jack, will I ever get to be a mom?  These are my struggles and at the moment they feel very heavy.

I know I have other attributes and that in time the pain of my loss will ease but how do you change who you are or rather who you were? 

This too shall pass~