Monday, March 4, 2013

Stacy Frey, Stacy Neild

If you encountered her in full flight you experienced the joy of knowing a force of nature and a spectacular person.
If you met her in poor health then you were witness to a mighty display of courage and love.

If we focus on her leaving we will be full of loss.
If we think of our time together we will be in no doubt that we have made nothing but a gain.

She was one of the best of us and we better make sure we honour her and carry her with us.

Stacy left us as she lived, surrounded by love. 


  1. May love surround and comfort you during this difficult time. I'm so sorry the world has lost such a beautiful soul, but her spirit and influence persist.

    Much love,
    Cat Wendt

  2. My heart breaks for you and for all the lucky, lucky people who knew this amazing person. And you are an amazing person too, Mike. Thanks for loving our friend!

  3. Mike and family -

    Mike and I send you lots of love and hope that our thoughts, and those of all the people whose lives Stacy and you touched, surround you and comfort you.

    Margie xxx

  4. Stacy was an AMAZING person and I am inspired by her life and by the love the two of you shared. Thank you both for being the inspiration to us all.

  5. Dear Mike and Family,

    We only knew you and Stacy briefly, but you both left a lasting imprint on our lives. Stacey was always so passionate and energetic. I remember her around the time she went to africa and what an amazing experience it was for her (and for us to hear about). I remember one new years at Jess and H-bomb's apartment at albion where Stacy really bought the party to life with her personality. We were so privileged to have met her.

    Take care during this next phase.


    Shane and Kell

  6. Dearest Mike,
    My heart is so heavy for you. Stacey was so beautiful in so many ways, and with you for such a short time. You did such a wonderful job of caring for her - I feel privileged I got to meet you both. I'm so glad Stacey is free of the physical body that was giving her so much pain and anguish. But that release means deep grief for you. May your strong faith and friends carry you through.
    with love from Wendy

  7. My heart breaks for you and the Frey family. Stacy has always inspired me and will continue to do so. She was a gift to everyone who met her and will be greatly missed. Love and prayers for you during this difficult time.
    ~Jen & Andrew S.

  8. Dear Mike
    It is with much sadness that we post this comment on hearing of Stacy's passing. It has been difficult to even think about the suffering she has endured during the last year or so let alone witness it as have you and your family. It is true your girl was one of kind and being kind was one of her many many stellar qualities. With much love, Zoe & Warren.

  9. Dear Mike,
    I am a friend of Kathy G. in Michigan and have been praying for Stacy. I was saddened to hear of her passing this morning. Please know that you, Stacy's parents, and all your family will be remembered in my prayers during the difficult days ahead. Your precious Stacy will always be with you for she lives in your hearts. God bless you.
    With sincere sympathy, Carol Hill

  10. You will all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I regret that I never got to meet Stacy but I am so grateful that I knew of her and have heard her story of grace, courage, and faith.

    Bonny Gavaletz Shuman

  11. God bless you and your family through losing thus angel! She was one of the few growing up who actually made feel good about positive and loving! Prayers to you!

  12. Stacy was one of my youngest older sister's best friends, if not her best friend. I'm of course referring to my sister, Liz White. Stacy's passing has left a huge impact on my family as a whole. She even went as far as to adopt my dad as her own.

    I was not as close as my sisters were to her nor Liz's friends. I knew Stacy for such a long time I do not even recall at what age I was when I first met her. And while I was not directly involved in her life, I know she was always concerned for my welfare in some fashion or another.

    The brief glimpses in time I did have with Stacy will and have become defining moments in my life, especially in recent years. I last saw her in the summer of 2010 when she came to visit the States and was staying with family in Montana. At that time I remember her being only able to move her toes and fingers slightly and being barely capable of articulating speech. But what awe struck me the most was how she dealt with it, acting completely as I had always remembered her and almost with a disregard for what was happening to her and what would eventually happen to her. This was one year prior to the death of a very close friend of mine who succumbed to his drug addictions. I always made it a point to tell others (including the dear friend I lost) about her even though they would never have the chance of meeting her in person and didn't even know who she was.

    Stacy's story is nothing short of amazing. If anyone's personal struggles attested to the inner strength of the human spirit, Stacy lives up to that expectation. She was faced with insurmountable odds and suffered with one of the most horrific diseases known to humans, and she continually persevered despite the challenges she had been facing. Stacy had guts & fortitude. Stacy had an endearing spirit matched only by the handful of people strong enough to possess it. An extremely rare quality that even someone such as myself who has come close to death cannot even begin to comprehend.

    My friend who died less than two years ago had a favorite quote from Nikki Six of Motley Crue: "Some must die so that others must live." I am one of those people that as of lately I have been questioning and ridiculing the idea that an all-loving God would allow for good to be so easily corrupted and perishable but then allow for evil to flourish as it does. But then I am reminded of how the appreciation for good can only come at the cost of its loss. And we can appreciate just how much of a contribution Stacy was largely because she is now gone from us and there naturally feels like a void, but in truth her spirit will live on through the legacy she established as a result of her struggles. If nothing else.

    In a sense I look back at the personal struggles I've been dealing with and I can honestly say that Stacy was perhaps a stepping stone in how to cope with those struggles and become a better person for them. However life ends for all of us and wherever we are destined to end up, Stacy served a purpose of giving. And this could not be any more true than it is now. Another quote: "We should not feel sorry for the people who have given their lives for us, rather we should be thankful that they lived." Gen. George Patton.

    I decided to chime in here because even though my lack of involvement is apparent, Stacy helped give me perspective I will never forget for as long as I continue to be around. She influenced people in ways she could not have possibly known. And she will always be a means of inspiration to draw from whenever anyone that knew her feels like they are confronted with the unimaginable.


    Jonathan White

  13. I was walking in the snow today...It was beautiful fluffy white and full of wonder. I was walking past Stacy's Great falls Home and I felt her prescene....I said to my girlfriend Lynnie I feel Stacy Passing ....I looked toward the heavens...And felt beauty...It is with that thought of beauty...peace...and wonder...that I share this.. Love and divine peace to you Mike her loving husband and to Debi and Dave her parents and our dear friends...
    Love....Robin and Lynn

  14. I'm not really one for sentimental poems or trite verses, but a friend sent this to me and I love it. I hope it offers some comfort to you Mike, and to all who read this blog. What an amazing image to think of Stacy as a strong boat, gliding with the wind:

    A Parable of Immortality

    I am standing upon the seashore.
    A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
    and starts for the blue ocean.

    She is an object of beauty and strength,
    and I stand and watch until at last she hangs
    like a speck of white cloud
    just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other.
    Then someone at my side says,
    " There she goes! "

    Gone where?

    Gone from my sight . . . that is all.

    She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
    as she was when she left my side
    and just as able to bear her load of living freight
    to the place of destination.

    Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

    And just at the moment
    when someone at my side says,
    " There she goes! "
    there are other eyes watching her coming . . .
    and other voices ready to take up the glad shout . . .

    " Here she comes! "

    ~Henry Van Dyke

  15. I'm so sorry mate, words fail me now all I can think to say is that you will carry Stace with you for always, where ever you go what ever you do she'll be part of it, in your thoughts, heart and soul, you'll never be alone mate, not ever, Stace will be apart of your life, and still you will wonder where you stop and she begins and you will smile again as she does, I love you big guy, Andy Camis

  16. Hi Mike,
    Like many people here, I have never met you. I first heard about your story through the Brisbane Ultimate community, and the Big Sky tournament. I wanted to encourage you that, without knowing it, you have been a real encouragement and inspiration to me.
    Over the past few months, my girlfriend has had many severe health issues; and looking after her has meant that at times I've been unable to do the things I love doing. In the times I have felt discouraged about this, I have reminded myself of your story. From what I've read in this blog, and from what I have heard about you, you have truly demonstrated what true love looks like, in the reality and messiness of life. May God bless you. All the best through this difficult time.

  17. Hi Mike,
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, my hearts aches the loss of your beautiful Stacey. My memories of Stacey are always of a person that stood out so much because of her incredible strength, love and beauty that overflowed over everyone that had the privildge to cross her path. I always saw in her purity and brillance that I will never forget.
    We uphold you Mike and honour your love and commitment to her,
    ALl our love,
    Glenn, Karen, Jed, Nathan, Aaron and Sam Eggleston

  18. To Mike, Debbie, Dave, Jule & Chris
    Our love goes out to you all at this time. Take strength in the knowledge that everyone who was fortunate enough to meet Stacy will always remember how she lit up a room with her presence and her love of life and her strength and courage through all the hard times she had to endure. Mike, your love and support for Stacy was inspirational. Keep the love you have for each other close to your heart and take it with you always.
    All our love
    Betty and Jim

  19. Mike
    May you always feel the presence of this beautiful and courageous Angel especially in these few days.
    Go gently...
    Thank you for showing us what love and goodness mean and thank you and Stacy for sharing yourselves and your journey with St Mary's.
    Take care
    Narelle Mullins

  20. My dear Mike
    It is with sadness that I learnt of Stacy dying. I have fond memories of the times (all too few) that I visited you both with Ellieanne and of the time you Stacy and Debbie had lunch with a few of the St Mary's in Exile community here. All present enjoyed your retelling of your early romance and marriage. What an inspiration you both were to all! You weere indeed blessed with a beautifuul wife and she a wonderful, caring, attentive,patient and adoring husband. My prayer is that the loving memories you and her family and friends have will sutain you as you wind your way through the grieving process.
    Love and God Bless
    Rosalie Toner

  21. Dearest Mike,

    I feel so blessed to have spent an amazing couple of years in Brisbane getting to know you and Stacy, she was such a great friend to me during that time. We had so many fun times! She made every working day a joy while we were slogging away trying to persuade people to sign up to a monthly donation to charity, in all weathers in all corners of Queensland! I now work for the charity we were promoting at that time (Medecins Sans Frontieres / Doctors Without Borders) in London and I love it! Then I got a job at another charity and used to visit Stacy in her clothes shop at lunchtime and meet after work for dinner and drinks. You guys were such a great support to me.

    Time passes so quickly and although it was 8 years ago, it feels like yesterday that Stacy and I were on a boat on the Brisbane river, sitting in the sunshine when she yelled with glee as she pulled a thick, wiry, grey hair from my head!! She was convinced I was going to go grey and she would enjoy playing hairdresser and dye my hair! (Thankfully it still hasn't happened!) It's funny the memories you have. I have a photo of us that day, so happy and so carefree.

    How times have changed. My boyfriend is going through challenging times with his health at the moment and I am doing my best to support him. We are lucky that he does not suffer like Stacy, his body remains healthy so I do not have to make the sacrifices you have made. At least not yet, but the time will come. I have often drawn on your strength and the incredible support you have given Stacy to remind me that we are not alone.

    Stacy was an amazing person, an inspiration, always so positive and bright and smiling. But you know that. She will be missed by so many, but as you say in your post above, we have gained immeasurably from knowing her.

    Sending you lots of love and the strength you need. I will be thinking of you on Thursday and Friday and the days in between. I know the funeral will be a true celebration of a wonderful person.

    Take care,
    Hannah xxx

  22. Dear Mike,
    My thoughts, prayers, and love are with you at this time. We were so sad to hear of your girl leaving you and can only imagine the sense of having lost such a remarkable person. I kept the article her friend wrote beside my bed and often read it, and was reminded of her and your strength of spirit in the face of such physical struggle. The memory of her bubbly self often got me through and back on the horse of life. My children remember her as that amazing girl - she was always so happy! Much love to you, Katie, Liam, Ailish, Neeve and Sinead.

  23. Dear Mike,
    no words can possibly comfort you right now. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your families.

    Your struggles put a lot of things in perspective and being so open about it can and will hopefully inspire many of us to really appreciate the blessing of health and friends and love.

    (#91 Munich Ultimate)

  24. Dear Mike & Family, I am so glad to have met you a few years back when you & Stacy were here in Great Falls for Her Benefit! It brought such Joy to the hearts of many to get to see Her & see how happy she was. What an amazing thing it is to find Love & Joy in this life. I wanted to thank you for standing by Stacy through all of this. I can only imagine the grief & heartache watching the love of your life go through the things she did. The Frey family have always welcomed me as part of their own, & for that & to have known Stacy is such an blessing to me. Praying for Peace to be found through this. Sincerely, Christel Fleming

  25. Stacy, your legacy in life has not ended but has just begun. Because in your life's footprint, you have now endowed those left behind with the power of your influences. I know I was and still am touched by your tenacity, and like other key things in my life, I will certainly go on to remember that for the remainder of my days. If by chance you ever get the opportunity or are in a position were you can read this or know that it comes straight from my heart, then understand that I appreciated you the most in your last of days though I remained at a distance from you for the majority of the time you were here. You give me strength & reassurance, and I thank you for that.

  26. Will always love you Stac. I am so glad to have gown up with you, and to have the wonderfully silly memories of us forever in my heart. I am thankful to have known you, and that you had someone who loved you as much as you deserved. God Bless to Stacy and to all those she touched and considered family. xoxoxo -Heather (McAllister) McKenzie